How to Be Lost by Amanda Eyre Ward

Author:Amanda Eyre Ward [Ward, Amanda Eyre]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9780345483171
Amazon: 0345483170
Publisher: Ballantine Books
Published: 2005-08-29T16:00:00+00:00

THREE

WHEN I WOKE, the knowledge fell into my head like a stone. I was going to Montana. Like my mother, I needed to see what the world held in store for me. And if Ellie was alive, I was going to find her.

I headed into the city to tell my sister. Ron and Madeline lived on East 64th Street. It was still freezing cold in New York. Walking uptown from Grand Central, I bought a Kangol hat for ten bucks, and eyed a faux-alligator purse. “Fifteen dollars,” said a beautiful black man.

“Fifteen dollars?” I said.

He gave me a wide smile. “Thirteen dollars?”

“Deal,” I said. As I rummaged in my pocket, he opened a box.

“Label?” he asked.

I deliberated between Gucci and Hermès, but went for Kate Spade. He took out a glue gun and pressed the label on. “Where are you from?” I asked.

“Ghana.”

“Wow,” I said, “how’d you get here?”

“I fly, lady,” said the man, who was clearly finished with me.

So much for love in the afternoon. I kept walking.

Ron opened the door to the apartment. “Hey,” he said, “It’s Caroline from the ’hood.”

“What?” I said.

“Your hat,” he said. “Kangol, very ghetto.”

“Oh,” I said, patting my head. “Well, I bought it up here, actually.”

“They’re the rage with the Spence and Nightingale girls,” said Ron.

“Anyway,” I said, “can I come in?”

Ron stepped aside, and I took in the huge living room. High ceilings, pale blue walls, velvet couch big enough to live in. “It’s beautiful,” I said. Madeline had a gorgeous piano, though she didn’t play, and on the piano there were two pictures in silver frames. One was Madeline and Ron on their wedding day. Madeline smiled widely, and Ron looked shell-shocked. The other picture was taken on Christmas, many years ago. Under a big tree, the three Winters girls hugged each other.

“Maddy’s drying her hair,” said Ron. “You want some green tea?”

“Oh, come on,” I said. He shrugged, pointed toward the bedroom with his thumb.

“It’s good for you,” he said.

“How about a Bloody Mary?”

“Coming up.”

Madeline came into the room, her hair swept up and sprayed into place. Her face seemed rounder, and her stomach swelled just the smallest bit. But she looked tired, and her eyes were red, as if she had been up late, or crying. She was affixing an enormous diamond to her ear.

“Hi,” I said, “you look wonderful.” She leaned forward and kissed the air above my head.

“Hey,” she said, “what do you want?”

“Wow,” I said.

“Well, are you here for tea?”

“I just need some snowpants,” I said.

“Snowpants?”

“Yes,” I said.

“May I ask why you’ll need snowpants in New Orleans?”

I took a breath. “I’m going to Montana,” I said, “actually.”

“Montana? I’ve always wanted to go there,” said Ron, handing me a drink. “Good for you, Caroline.”

“Ron, honey?” said Madeline in a steely voice. “Could you excuse us for a moment?”

“Let her be, Maddy,” said Ron.

“You have no idea what’s going on here,” said Madeline.

Ron looked at me, and I nodded. “She’s right,” I said, “you don’t.”

“Fine,” said Ron. He went down a hallway and I heard a door slam shut.

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